书面表达精练
作者:满长惠 更新日期:2007-11-18 点击数: 等级:
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文章来源: 2007年全国高考百校联盟最后一卷
假如你是李华,请就本校食堂服务(canteen service)的状况给校长写一封信。内容包括:
优点 不足 建议
食堂干净 价格偏高 尽快解决问题
饭菜可口 种类偏少
服务态度好 等候时间长
词数: 100左右;开头已为你写好。
Dear Mr. Principal,
I’m a senior student of our school. I’d like to say something about the canteen service in our school._________________________
__________________________________________________
__________________________________________________
1. 【思维导航】
本文是一篇图表对比类作文,写作时不能把它变成翻译,而应灵活运用英语知识,采用不同的表达方式将试题要求的要点完整地表达出来,力求准确、简洁、礼貌、规范。
2. 【学生习作】
试分析如下学生习作的优缺点并尽量改正其中的错误:
Dear Mr. Principal,
I’m a senior student of our school. I’d like to say something about the canteen service in our school.
In general, the service is satisfactory. The dining hall is clean and tidy. The dishes there are delicious. What’s more, the workers there treat us as their friends, which make(1) us feel comfortable.
However, the price of the meals are (2) a little too high. Besides, the kinds of food are always the same. To make things worse, we often have to stand in line for a long time before we can get the meal. You could understand how precious time is to us students. Therefore, I hope you can take my advice into consideration and solve the problem as soon as possible.
Sincerely yours,
LiHua
3. 【专家点评】
(1)总体评价
本文内容要点覆盖全面,语言使用准确流畅,连接成份使用正确合理。应用了一些较高级词汇和语法句型结构,是一篇不错的作文。
(2)亮点或采分点
① In general, the service is satisfactory.
② What’s more, the workers there treat us as their friends, which make(1) us feel comfortable.
③ You could understand how precious time is to us students
④ ... we often have to stand in line for a long time before we can get ...
(3)错误更正
① make应改为makes,因为关系代词 which指代的是前面一句话。
② are应改为is,因为主语是the price。
(4)锦上添花
① 习作中用To make things worse,也可以用even worse, what’s worse, worse than all。
② 习作中用In general,也可以用Generally speaking。
③ 习作中用the service is satisfactory,也可以用We’re satisfied with the service.
(5)五彩缤纷
①表示菜的品种单一可以说:We can only have a limited variety of dishes with little change every week.
② 向校长提出你的建议可以说:May I suggest something be done to solve the problems so that we can all enjoy our meals at school?
4. 【参考范文】
Dear Mr. Principal,
I’m a senior student of our school. I’d like to say something about the canteen service in our school.
In general, the service is satisfactory. The hall is clean and tidy. The dishes look inviting and taste delicious as well. What’s more, the workers there treat us as their friends, which makes us feel very happy.
However, we feel the price of the meals is a little too high. Besides, we can only have a limited variety of dishes with little change every week. In addition, we often
文章来源: 2007年全国高考百校联盟最后一卷
假如你是李华,请就本校食堂服务(canteen service)的状况给校长写一封信。内容包括:
优点 不足 建议
食堂干净 价格偏高 尽快解决问题
饭菜可口 种类偏少
服务态度好 等候时间长
词数: 100左右;开头已为你写好。
Dear Mr. Principal,
I’m a senior student of our school. I’d like to say something about the canteen service in our school._________________________
__________________________________________________
__________________________________________________
1. 【思维导航】
本文是一篇图表对比类作文,写作时不能把它变成翻译,而应灵活运用英语知识,采用不同的表达方式将试题要求的要点完整地表达出来,力求准确、简洁、礼貌、规范。
2. 【学生习作】
试分析如下学生习作的优缺点并尽量改正其中的错误:
Dear Mr. Principal,
I’m a senior student of our school. I’d like to say something about the canteen service in our school.
In general, the service is satisfactory. The dining hall is clean and tidy. The dishes there are delicious. What’s more, the workers there treat us as their friends, which make(1) us feel comfortable.
However, the price of the meals are (2) a little too high. Besides, the kinds of food are always the same. To make things worse, we often have to stand in line for a long time before we can get the meal. You could understand how precious time is to us students. Therefore, I hope you can take my advice into consideration and solve the problem as soon as possible.
Sincerely yours,
LiHua
3. 【专家点评】
(1)总体评价
本文内容要点覆盖全面,语言使用准确流畅,连接成份使用正确合理。应用了一些较高级词汇和语法句型结构,是一篇不错的作文。
(2)亮点或采分点
① In general, the service is satisfactory.
② What’s more, the workers there treat us as their friends, which make(1) us feel comfortable.
③ You could understand how precious time is to us students
④ ... we often have to stand in line for a long time before we can get ...
(3)错误更正
① make应改为makes,因为关系代词 which指代的是前面一句话。
② are应改为is,因为主语是the price。
(4)锦上添花
① 习作中用To make things worse,也可以用even worse, what’s worse, worse than all。
② 习作中用In general,也可以用Generally speaking。
③ 习作中用the service is satisfactory,也可以用We’re satisfied with the service.
(5)五彩缤纷
①表示菜的品种单一可以说:We can only have a limited variety of dishes with little change every week.
② 向校长提出你的建议可以说:May I suggest something be done to solve the problems so that we can all enjoy our meals at school?
4. 【参考范文】
Dear Mr. Principal,
I’m a senior student of our school. I’d like to say something about the canteen service in our school.
In general, the service is satisfactory. The hall is clean and tidy. The dishes look inviting and taste delicious as well. What’s more, the workers there treat us as their friends, which makes us feel very happy.
However, we feel the price of the meals is a little too high. Besides, we can only have a limited variety of dishes with little change every week. In addition, we often




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